A toxic relationship is something that scares many of us. Apparently, it’s easy to fall into one and not even notice it for a long time. At the same time, the term seems to be often misused – after all, serious problems arise in every relationship, but that doesn’t always mean it’s toxic. Here’s how to recognize a relationship that can destroy us.
The biggest paradox of a toxic relationship is that it doesn’t actually do us much good, and yet we can’t seem to get out of it. Many doubts, dark thoughts, and sad moods haunt our minds, but we simply push them away. What should cause us to be especially vigilant?
Jealousy and control
If your partner often displays unjustified jealousy and starts restricting your freedom, it is a sign that things are not going well in your relationship. The foundation of a mature relationship is trust, without it no one will be able to build something lasting. Talk to your partner about the reasons for your behaviour: perhaps they are trivial and you can easily work things out. If not, it’s worth considering the meaning of the relationship.
Everything seems to be your fault? You’re the one who always messes up and the other party graciously forgives you? Look objectively: it’s impossible for one person in a relationship to be responsible for everything. This kind of blame game generally serves one purpose: to lower your self-esteem and plant seeds of doubt in your head. “Maybe I’m really that hopeless?”, “what if I’m really not good at anything?” – if similar thoughts are haunting you more and more, ask yourself which side of the blame really lies.
Lack of respect
This includes the respect you show each other when you’re alone, as well as the respect your partner shows in public situations such as meeting up with friends. Disrespect and humiliation have a direct impact on your self-esteem, and the lower it falls, the harder it is to break free from the clutches of a toxic relationship
Also take a look at your partner’s jokes, especially the ones he or she indulges in among others. If the jokes are about a subject that you know your relationship on and you are sure that the other party is distanced from it – go ahead! If, however, under the guise of a joke your partner smuggles in issues that hurt and ridicule you… well, that’s definitely not the way to go
It starts out innocently enough. In good faith, of course, your partner will whisper to you that your friend might not really be such a friend, since she gave you such a small gift for your birthday. You, admittedly, have never paid attention to the price of gifts before, but suddenly you start to look at it differently
Later you will hear that your sister doesn’t give a damn about you because she never calls first, even though it never bothered you before. You know she has a lot on her mind and has always been distracted. But when you finally talked, she always gave you maximum attention. So far, this has been enough for you, and now you suddenly think that she really is hopeless
Magic? No, the action of a toxic partner. This is how you slowly pull away from family members or friends, so he has you to himself exclusively and can control you more easily. Controlling and deciding who you should (or shouldn’t) hang out with is a very effective way to become fully manipulative.
If you feel lonely and abandoned in your relationship more often than you feel loved and safe, you better start preparing yourself mentally now to leave. Every couple has its crises, and hot feelings burn out quickly, but if you notoriously feel like you’re alone with everything, just ask yourself if you want to feel that way for the rest of your life