Leticia Keith Mentoring vs coaching – learn the 5 key differences
27 November 2020
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People who want to work on their personal development often come across the term coaching and mentoring. These methods of personal development are usually confused with each other because the differences between them are minimal (but they do exist!). Both forms of personal development work are used in the business sector. How to distinguish between them?
Basic differences
Mentoring and coaching are methods intended to contribute to personal development. Although both forms are intended to help develop an individual, they are slightly different from each other
The basic differences between these methods are presented in an accessible way in the table:
| coaching | mentoring | |
| goal | focus on the short-term goal | focusing on long-term consequences, beyond the goal |
| methods | moderation, observation, stimulation to independent action | giving concrete advice and hints |
| methods of working with the client | listening, asking questions and observation | telling about own experiences |
| main features of a teacher | empathy | experience |
| determination of goal achievement | on the basis of the mentee’s mental capacity | on the basis of other people’s knowledge |
Mentoring, or what?
Mentoring is a form of partnership between a “master” and a “student”. Through this relationship, the “student” discovers and develops the potential of their personality. The mentor, on the other hand, plays the role of a teacher who is an expert helping to find the right path. Mentoring as a method of development focuses on providing guidance and assistance in creating success.
Benefits of mentoring:
- is very flexible, so it can be tailored to individual needs,
- increases the involvement of the “learner”,
- does not exclude other forms of training,
- it is individual oriented,
- it is relatively cheap.
Types of mentoring
The increase in interest in personal development has given rise to different types of mentoring that can be tailored to individual needs. Some of the most popular include mentoring:
- corporate (in business) – found especially in larger corporations, where the mentor is an advisor and guide to his or her “student” at various stages of their career,
- industrial – a mentor is a person responsible for training which is necessary to obtain appropriate professional qualifications,
- social – refers to support for people who are in a difficult life situation and need advice and mental support when making important decisions
A few words about coaching
Coaching is classified as a psychological method, it is a process of realizing oneself under the supervision of a coach, in order to increase one’s effects and achieve desired goals. The role of the coach is to direct the thoughts of the “student” in such a way that he/she comes up with an idea to solve his/her problems. During a session, a coach asks a lot of different questions to show the “student” the world from a different perspective. The coach usually has knowledge of psychology and effective motivation.
Benefits of coaching:
- increases motivation,
- stimulates creativity,
- increases flexibility of action,
- helps in taking up new challenges independently,
- is a support for the career,
- allows for skillful balancing of time between work and personal life.
Types of coaching
In coaching, several types can be distinguished, taking into account the spheres of life, the improvement of which is focused on. We distinguish coaching:
- personal – focusing on building the student’s own “I”,
- life – concerning personal life and interpersonal relationships,
- medical – involves working with patients and medical staff,
- professional – focused on development and career of the trained person,
- executive – involves working with staff who manage a company,
- investment – includes activities in the field of widely understood investments,
- business – which aims to help develop a business
- group – meetings are held in groups with similar “challenges”.
Despite the differences, both coaching and mentoring are great ways for personal development. When choosing a particular method, it is worth taking into account your own predispositions, the nature of your work and your abilities
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How to deal with procrastination? Our reliable tips
We all put off doing something from time to time. This behavior is not a problem until it becomes the norm and leads to serious consequences.
Procrastination has been known since ancient times and its “adepts” at one time were such prominent personalities as Pablo Picasso, Winston Churchill, Charles Darwin and Albert Einstein. The term itself appeared in 1977, when a scientific article by two American researchers, Albert Ellis and William Knaus, “Overcoming procrastination” was published (Overcoming procrastination).
What is procrastination?
Procrastination is the unhealthy habit of putting things and tasks off. One’s activity is directed towards small, unproductive, or even pointless activities. Psychologists call procrastination and wasting time a disease of modern times. The author of a publication with such a title (Procrastination: a Malady of Modern Time) is an English psychologist Noah Milgram, who distinguished 4 types of procrastination:
- Daily Procrastination – a person puts off housework that needs to be done constantly and is unable to follow a set daily schedule;
- Academic Procrastination – a person delays doing homework, postpones preparing for exams, etc;
- Decision-making procrastination – a person delays making all decisions, even the smallest ones;
- Compulsive Procrastination – combines procrastination in decision making and daily procrastination.
As you can see, putting things off is a very devious enemy that can be waiting at every turn. It can be defeated, but the first thing you will need to do is to identify the reasons why a person procrastinates on tasks or decisions. Pinpointing them properly can make overcoming procrastination much easier.
Causes of Procrastination
Unless procrastination has reached a chronic and chronic form, its causes often lie in trivial things such as:
- inability to make decisions;
- fear of important events, changes (including positive ones);
- lack of internal motivation;
- lack of planning skills;
- lack of understanding of negative consequences;
- perfectionism.
Sometimes a person does not know how to prioritize or does not define his goals: it makes no difference to him what he should do first. Some people procrastinate because of uncertainty, because they do not know how to approach a task and are afraid they will fail. This can be either fear of failure or fear of success – a common phobia that blocks potential achievement.
Perfectionism can also be a cause of procrastination – a person works out the smallest details to perfection and is ready to miss a project deadline because they are not satisfied enough with the results.
How to fight procrastination?
To overcome procrastination, strong willpower is key. We must resist the temptation to postpone tasks. Once we understand that this behavior leads to stress, feelings of shame and lowered self-esteem, we realize how harmful it is for us.
Identify the causes
Procrastination sometimes defeats even the most productive people. The first thing they do to deal with it is to determine its causes. It could be one of the factors already mentioned or something else entirely, such as disorganization, laziness, a bad mood, overwhelming responsibility, or even banal hunger or thirst.
Take the first step
Even if you’re doing something you love, the beginning can be very difficult. If you don’t quite know where to start or see any difficulties, you might just sit back and do nothing. However, it is important not to think about action, but to start acting. This makes the difference between a productive person and an unproductive one. Once you start, you will cross the threshold of procrastination, which will give you the energy to continue working.
Divide the work into parts
In many cases, people start procrastinating when they see a huge amount of work in front of them. If this scares you, know that you can divide the work into smaller parts. Find small segments in a large project that don’t require a serious investment of time and effort, and start working gradually. Huge projects will immediately stop scaring you if you approach them this way.
Create an environment suitable for work
A big hindrance in the way of productive work can be an environment that is not suitable for it. Distractions of all kinds can easily distract you from getting the job done. These include various gadgets, game consoles, television, loud music, and friends or relatives hanging around.
Try to create a work environment where no one and nothing will distract you. Remove from sight anything that might distract you, and ask family members or co-workers not to distract you.
Celebrate small successes
You don’t have to chase the end result as you may wait for it for a very long time and end up losing all your enthusiasm. It is better to celebrate small successes and achievements to keep you motivated and eager. By celebrating your small victories, you will contribute to the formation of new androgen receptors in the areas of the brain responsible for motivation.
Set realistic goals
If you set the bar too high for yourself, you will quickly lose your enthusiasm and desire to work. In order for you to stay on a positive wavelength and not lose focus, your goals and objectives must be doable and achievable.
Focus on finishing the job
When you have a difficult task in front of you, start reasoning logically. Don’t focus on the fact that you don’t want to start the work, as you will quickly fall into the procrastination trap and allow yourself to be convinced that the task can wait a day or two. Don’t give in to that insidious voice in your head.
Instead, start thinking about how good you will feel when you finish the work you started, how proud of yourself you will be, what a pleasant feeling of satisfaction it will be.
Don’t blame or criticize yourself
It happened. You gave in to temptation and put off tasks. Tough luck. Self-flagellation and guilt trips are pointless and certainly won’t help you solve the problem. Take a breath, accept the fact that you made a mistake and get to work. Remember that we are all only human and no one is perfect. The key to success is to keep working on yourself and not giving up.
Main Photo: Magnet.me/unsplash.com
When to go to a specialist? On mental health with Weronika Wasiak
Weronika Wasiak has been running the account on Instagram since March @chad_owa. On it, she discusses bipolar disorder, promotes the idea of self-compassion and disenchants myths related to mental health. In the interview, she talked about what to expect when you visit a psychiatrist or psychologist and proved that lockdown can be a positive thing
Hi, Veronica. Thanks for making time for me and our readers. Let me start with a slightly provocative question: have you thought about canceling our conversation?
Hi, Dorota. Thank you so much for the invitation. As far as cancelling, I haven’t really thought about it. Only 15 minutes ago I was thinking about postponing it because I had a crying attack. But it’s better now!
You use both a psychologist and a psychiatrist. Under what circumstances did you make your first appointment?
As for the psychologist, I made my first appointment to learn more about independence and self-reliance. I needed to learn how to make my own decisions. A psychiatrist, on the other hand, came into my life when I stopped enjoying everything. Even from something that was once my most desired pastime.
Did your expectations correspond with reality? Or did you sometimes leave the office feeling disappointed or misunderstood?
I have always been lucky with psychologist. I met with patience and understanding. I can safely say that each of my therapies was different, but all were successful. The bigger issue came in terms of psychiatry and drug treatment. Given my own experience, I think it’s easier to run into someone who will treat us as just another person who needs any kind of prescription and “goodbye”.
Let’s take this opportunity to clarify, because probably not everyone is aware – what are the basic differences between a psychiatrist and a psychologist/psychotherapist?
I don’t want to pretend to be an expert here. I treat my Instagram as a place with private stories, not scientific guidelines or definitions. I do know, however, that a psychologist is a person who has studied psychology and does not necessarily have to work with people. A psychotherapist, on the other hand, is a person who may have graduated from any college, but needed to complete an expensive school of therapy
To my knowledge, it is better for our therapist to be both a psychologist and a psychotherapist, and to undergo regular supervision. As for the psychiatrist, this is a person who has graduated from medical school and is after specialization in the department of psychiatry. This is the only person who can incorporate drug treatment into therapy.
I won’t ask if your loved ones know about your illness – after all, you write about it on Instagram. However, what was it like in the beginning? Was it always easy for you to talk about visiting specialists, and further the diagnosis and living with the disease?
It definitely wasn’t easy for me. Now I don’t quite remember those times when it was difficult for me to talk about it, whereas the day I said it out loud is still stuck in my memory. I simply wove it into a conversation whose topic was mental health. I was curious about the reaction, but no one particularly reacted. Only later did something great happen – a couple of people, in attendance, came to ask me for advice! How to start, how to try to go to a specialist, and so on… Since then there is no shame in me anymore. So I do my best to remember that not everyone is so nice and comfortable with it. I rely on empathy, whether or not I can imagine what a person who is ashamed of talking about mental health out loud feels.
What did the diagnosis itself give you? A sense of relief and some sort of “identity,” or perhaps a label that stigmatizes?
Relief, relief and more relief. I finally stopped wondering if “maybe I’m not imagining things”. I heard that lying in bed all day and not trying to do anything, even nice things, is not the norm and I can do something about it if I feel unhappy about it. It gave me real motivation to fight. Which I still do to this day.
My way is to say to myself, somewhat forcefully, “I know how I feel, I feel bad and I need help”
I think it’s this rationalizing of one’s problems or behavior – or even denying it – that is very pernicious and causes people to get to professionals much later than they should. Do you have any ways to stop thinking this way?
Once a psychologist told me that our mind doesn’t understand the word “no”. When we don’t want to do something and we focus on thoughts of “I don’t want to feel this way” or “I don’t want to think I’m making this up,” all our mind really hears is “I want to feel this way” or “I want to think I’m making this up.” With a pinch of salt of course, however, we actually leave no room in our mind for what we actually want. My way is to say to myself, a little forcefully, “I know how I feel, I feel bad and I need help”. I find it easier to ask for it then.
There’s also the other side of the coin – the people around us can send us messages like “you’re making things up” or “you’re actually looking for attention.” You have stressed several times in your posts that you don’t write for attention or to “stroke your head”. Is this kind of back-up explanation due to the fact that you’ve already faced such accusations?
This is an interesting question that made me think hard about it. I didn’t even know it was possible to glean something like this from my posts. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever heard directly that I was making things up. It was probably other pins like “you just need to take care of yourself and it will get better”, “start some habits, it won’t be so bad to live” or “you can’t rely so much on medications, they don’t change much”
I admit that it is difficult to fight with such words, but I think I have crossed a certain limit and I follow my own paths. As for the attentiveness… I think it stems from the fact that I mostly surround myself with people who are quieter and more withdrawn than me. Sometimes I think that maybe I’m actually atentic since I behave differently than them.
In your opinion, what are the financial issues of mental health care? Is it available to everyone or is it still a privilege?
I think it is my HUGE privilege. I can’t imagine where I would be if I couldn’t financially afford private therapy or psychiatric appointments. I dream somewhere in the back of my mind of contributing in any way I can to making sure everyone has equal access to psychological help.
Several lockdowns related to the coronavirus pandemic are behind us. Not being able to go out to a restaurant with friends, arrange for coffee or a movie at the cinema. Did this time affect your mental form?
It did. And in a positive way. I know it sounds silly, but thanks to the lockdown I relaxed a lot. I slowed down, I stopped rushing so much. I started to appreciate the beauty of small things, like walking my sister’s dog or cooking more and more new dishes. But most of all, it helped me to work from home, lessen my contact with people and focus on myself. Don’t get me wrong, I like people, but for some reason social interactions quickly wear me out. Whereas with lockdown, I was able to slow down in that area as well.
I can’t imagine where I would be if I couldn’t financially afford private therapy or psychiatric appointments
Some people don’t want to go to a specialist because they think they can “figure it out” on their own. Do you think it would be possible to manage your disorder on your own?
I think it is possible. I am not an expert. However, I think it is normal for someone to simply not want to seek help from a psychologist/psychotherapist. There are plenty of books on the subject or groups of people who help each other. The most important thing in this subject is self-denial and the will to change. In my opinion, it’s only the decision of the person who is struggling with various problems and wants to fix them.
Of course, it is different for serious, life-threatening problems and the like. I have no scientific knowledge, but in my opinion, there is no other option than a psychiatrist in such a situation.
And keeping an account on Instagram? Can it realistically aid therapy?
I think this solution is not for everyone, but for me, starting this account is a milestone in terms of personal development. Practically every day I am grateful to myself that I started this adventure. My psychologist is proud of it too, and I actually feel like it makes it easier for me.
Let’s end this conversation with something warm and cheery like a hedgehog from your wrist. Do you have an uplifting phrase for people in crisis? Or maybe a favorite meme that always entertains the same way?
An uplifting phrase from me is “never the less.” A quote from my friend Ola’s mom that always helps me when I think to myself, “I can’t do it now. Remember, the biggest cliché helps the most. IT WILL BE GOOD! And here’s a meme from me, greetings as a blonde who bleached her own hair 2 weeks ago.
I couldn’t have imagined a better ending to the conversation! I think I can speak for both of us: we wish everyone health, acceptance, and a better understanding of their own emotions. And to you, Veronica, thank you again for a great conversation!
Also thank you very much, all the best!
