Not all love is happy. It happens that our feelings are not reciprocated and, contrary to appearances, such situations occur not only during adolescence, but also in adult life. How to deal with love without reciprocation?
Given the unlimited number of novels, poems and songs about unhappy love, one can make the assumption that almost all of us have experienced the pain of unrequited affection. Scientists and psychologists point out that the feelings that accompany us after rejection are actually comparable to physical pain, because, as studies show, the same areas of the brain are activated in both cases. Many people say that feeling strongly without reciprocation is one of the worst experiences we can have. But while it often seems like a tragedy, we are able to cope with it. How?
The first moments after realizing that we love without reciprocation are the most difficult, We are then accompanied by many emotions – disappointment, helplessness, sadness, anger. At the same time, we often hold out hope that perhaps all is not lost, we try to bargain in our own thoughts. We look for an excuse to continue contact with a person who does not reciprocate our affection, we send her random messages, we appear in places where she often goes, we analyze the past. All of these types of actions cause us to not only stand still instead of moving on, but also to tear our wound more. The best way to do this is to radically cut ourselves off from that person. The principle of no contact is effective and allows you to cool down after strong emotions. It can also be helpful to get rid of things that remind us of the object of our feelings, or even to delete a phone number or block on social media. The more unfavorable stimuli you eliminate, the faster you can deal with unrequited feelings.
Even after radically breaking contact with a person who does not reciprocate our love, we often tend to despair. We analyze almost every conversation and every encounter, trying to find the moment when we made a mistake. It is also not uncommon for us to blame ourselves and think that if only we had done things differently, surely this person could have bestowed affection on us. Such thoughts plunge us further into negative emotions and make us feel worse. We have to accept the situation, there is no other option. Despairing for hours will not help us move on and regain joy. However, it is worth looking at your emotions and not drowning them out in toxic ways, such as alcohol. Talking to loved ones is helpful. Allow yourself moments of sadness, don’t push it deep inside yourself, as this is the only way to get away from it and finally feel relief.
Despairing for lost love, we forget that it is we who should love ourselves the most and always put ourselves first. Painful experiences happen to everyone at all stages of life, so let’s learn to accept ourselves and our failures. Let’s focus on ourselves, take care of our health, develop our passions, don’t shy away from meeting friends. However, if we are unable to cope with overwhelming emotions, let’s not be afraid to seek help from a therapist. Taking care of your mental health is also a sign of self-love.
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