Communication is all about listening and then speaking. Unfortunately, many people do not understand the difference between “hearing” and “listening”.
The skill of listening is quite rare, but extremely valuable. It helps you connect with your interlocutor, understand their point of view, and even develop the conversation in the right direction. Good listeners find it easier to establish relationships and do better in business, so it’s worth practicing attentive and active listening to others. Here are some tips.
Try to reduce the amount of yourself in the conversation
To learn to hear others, you need to listen as if the most important person on earth is in front of you. To keep your attention and tune in, repeat some of the speaker’s statements in your head. Ask questions if necessary, but refrain from trying to think of what you want to say. After your interlocutor finishes speaking, wait a few seconds and start speaking again when you are sure he/she is not going to continue.
Use the LISTEN method
If you want to communicate better with the people who are important to you in life and at work, use the LISTEN scheme, which is:
– L = Look, Lift, Lean (Look, Lift, and Lean: show that you prioritize your interlocutor);
– I = Ignore everything else;
– S = Suspend Judgement;
– T = Take Notes;
– E = empathize;
– N = no Buts about It
Also listen with your eyes
Pay attention during the conversation to micro-expressions. The basis of this method is to look for the emotions behind the words in the speaker. The idea is to listen to the person, but also pay attention to what he or she does and how he or she behaves. Microexpression lasts only a moment and cannot be controlled, so it carries real information and can help you understand the other person better.
Change the nature of your actions
A tip for those who have difficulty listening to other people’s speeches and remembering what they have heard. At least once every twenty minutes, change the nature of the actions if the speaker himself does not offer it. You can write something, draw something, ask a question (even yourself) about the material.
Don’t be distracted by gadgets
If you use your phone, the speaker will think you are disrespectful and the conversation is a burden to you. A seemingly harmless habit can damage relationships with both loved ones and business partners. Therefore, mute the sound or simply put your smartphone away before talking. If the phone rings, remember to apologize before answering and end the call as soon as possible.
Practice active listening skills
A conversation is only complete when both callers are engaged. To listen actively, maintain eye contact, nod occasionally as a sign that you are listening, and ask questions during pauses. However, remember not to interrupt the other person
Do not focus on the way you speak, but on the content of what you say
Each person has their own way of speaking: too loud or too quiet, slow, fast, with an accent. Sometimes a person actively gestures, stammers or pronounces certain sounds differently. Always focus on what the speaker wants to tell you, not on the way he/she does it.
The ability to listen carefully is as practical as the ability to speak beautifully. But it’s not enough to read a few tips and tricks – you need to put them into practice. Practice active listening with empathy and attentiveness. You will quickly notice that your personal and professional relationships have greatly improved, and people talk to you more willingly and with pleasure, finding in you the perfect listener.
Read also: https://talkans.com/relationships/when-you-lack-the-courage-to-end-a-relationship-is-ghosting-a-plague-anymore/
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